Chris Jones
When asked to do a “personal” bio, many issues come to mind. What is the most important information to put about one’s life? One could even consider what makes up a person’s life. What are the events and or actions that we should write about? Is it the interesting rare events or the more long term yet duller mainstays that are more intrinsic to who we are? Some people consider my pondering, verbose attempts are procrastination. Others regard as them as intellectual and philosophical points worthy of contemplation. Well, no one has actually told me that, but I hate to think everyone believes I procrastinate. The question remains, what did I fill my time between birth and now with, besides philosophical procrastinations? That stuff is many and varied and is a testament to confusion and wanderlust more then anything else. I will attempt to give you the short version. Most people don’t believe half of what I’ve done and to be fair, neither would I.
I was born in Kingsport, TN, but only have memories of it through my childhood summers. Vero Beach Florida is where I truly hail from, and where I live now. My parents were divorced when I was about 3 (I honestly don’t remember) and I’m sorry to say I don’t really remember my mom remarrying (despite the numerous photos of me in a tacky green suit). Point is, I guess, I have had two fathers most of my life. One being all fun, party and even sometimes dangerous; the other steadier, fixed, stable (but not boring).
I excelled in the VBHS theatre program have a love (and knack) for drama, but took many science classes including my first astronomy class (which becomes important later on). Starting at age 16, I taught drama at Riverside Theatre but held many jobs, from paint store stock boy to Chinese restaurant bus boy.
The most defining moments of my high school life were two deaths. One was the death of my younger brother Jon. I knew him for a wonderful 9 years before a drunk driver murdered him while he was riding his bike to our grandmother's house. I am not ashamed to say I still break down in tears, though I have gotten better at hiding it. The second death was that of my grandma Eunice. She was my biological father’s mother and she kept and raised me during my summers in Tennessee. I have a great mom, but she was very busy working while I was with her in Florida, so my grandmother was the greatest female influence in my life. She loved me like I was her son, not just grandson. What I learned from these two in life and in death was to live life at all times. I didn’t want any wasted moments.
With the help of my dad, I bought my first car at 16, an oversized Malabu Classic that could fit about 35 kids or more in the back seat. At that point I could make road trips (which I did) to places like Orlando. I suppose I was desperate to see as much of the world as possible. I had been snow skiing up and down the East Coast (not literally) and water skied many of the lakes and rivers of East Tennessee and the Indian River. I have been camping in some of the most remote regions from Central Florida to North Carolina (and most places in-between. I found Jesus in two very dichotic places, the conservative almost serene First Baptist Church of Vero Beach and in the mountains of East Tennessee at Orebank Baptist where fire and brimstone where the main topics. I learned to take nothing for granted since both churches claimed to be southern Baptist. Yet they were as much alike as Judaism and Islam.
My junior year of High school I met a boy who would change my life. Tim Diern was an exchange student from Germany staying with a very strange (and I mean creepy strange) man. So I rescued him, so to speak. That is to say my mom allowed Tim to stay with us for the year. I think I made a good impression because a year later, when I graduated, I moved to Germany to stay with him. Thus began my life long love of world travel My time there was cut short because of a horrible basketball accident which broke my ankle and earned me a metal plate to entertain airport security for years to come. I returned to America after a few months later, with several new scars and a second language.
When I got back, I was very put out. I had seen the world, or at least thought I had, and Vero Beach held no wonder or excitement for me, so I moved… a lot. From Chattanooga to Orlando, no place cold hold me for long. I made a lot of friends and did a lot of cool things, the coolest, I am told, is when I was a knight at the dinner theatre, Medieval Times. Personally, I liked being a projectionist for a movie theatre since I love the movies. I also got back into theater. I taught, wrote, and directed more shows for children then I could ever remember. Sad, since I am so good at that, I could have made a career of it (actually I have). After a failed long term relationships (and about a dozen girl-friends) and a failing second long term relationship, I decided I had to go to college. I had taken a couple of classes at the community college, IRCC, but I needed a 4 year degree to go anywhere. I missed traveling overseas so naturally, I joined the Air Force. Actually I joined the Air Force Reserves and since mechanical and technical were my two lowest scores on my ASVAP (look it up) naturally I was made and aircraft mechanic. One of many of the brilliant moves the military made. Think goodness they are better at fighting wars then giving their personnel careers. The best thing the A.F. did for me was introduce me to Charleston. It didn’t take long for me to decide to move there, right after living in Ft. Pierce for a year. I first did another year at IRCC (taking astronomy again) then transferred up to Trident Tech in North Charleston.
There, I received a degree in Aerospace Engineering, then, transferred yet again to the College of Charleston. Through a fluke in the “class numbering” system between IRCC and C of C I was not awarded any Astronomy credit despite having aced two semesters of it. “Oh well,” I thought, I loved looking at the stars, so I thought two more semesters of Astronomy might be cool. Life has a way of dropping you hints that only hind sight can ever pick up. While in my Astronomy lab I was introduced to someone more lovely then all the stars God spread in the sky. She may not think it, but I was enchanted by a shy seeming sophomore girl named Rachel. God bless the miscommunication between colleges! We hit it off ok, but did not start a relationship right away. For one thing, I was still in a disastrous relationship (as much my fault as hers) and for another I was not mature enough myself. Actually, we both had some more growing to do, but we kept in touch. Every time I saw her I became a little more enchanted and a little happier to see her again.
The other really cool thing I did was get a job at the US Border Patrol. For $10.50 and hour I got to run drugs and shoot federal agents. Well, not for real, but it was fun and it was a real conversation starter.
“what do you do for a living?”
“ Well actually, I’m a professional bad guy.”
I also met my second best friend and my second family, (yes I am a god-father) Sid and family.
I should take a moment to point out that I have a lot of friends, all of the world. Mo is my best friend with out a doubt. He has followed me and had my back in a lot places. I once said that if there was ever anyone I would commit a felony for it would be him. The other two are Tim and Sid. The problem is I am such a charismatic and personable fellow, that many people feel they are very close to me. Maybe they are from their perspective and I do consider my good friends to be more the average. I would do a lot for a lot of people, but those three are what I wish my brother Jon would have been like had he lived. That’s something nobody ever knew!
Back to my life, with a bachelor’s degree in Arts Management I easily got a job in the Financial Aid Office (the two are not really related). Nothing else really happened, oh wait, there was a war. Silly me, I mean two wars! God seems to answer prayers in a very odd way at times. So I was back to traveling the world. I did not talk a lot about this time. It was a little scary. I would just seem to go away for a week or two or three. While I was in Charleston, I was working 8-12 hour shifts from 11pm to 8 am, then going to school all day. Somehow, I managed to hold down several internships which took me from the mountains of North Carolina to Alabama, to Austria and even Mongolia. I told you some of it was unbelievable.
Eventually, I returned to Vero to open the Performing Arts Center at Vero Beach High School in 2005, and take on the directorship. Obviously Rachel and I became closer and closer prior to that. I remember I was at my cousin G.T.’s second wedding (the good one) when I thought, “I wonder if Rachel would dance with me?” This is strange since A) I was in Ohio and she was still in Charleston at the time and B) I have never been a very good dancer. So I called her. She was a little freaked out (I think) but we had been spending more and more time together (no, I didn’t have a girl friend at the time) so I asked her out, “officially” sort of. It was the best move of a life full of twist and turns and less then year later my sister (yes I have a sister) helped me pick out an engagement ring and Rachel took a chance on me. This is not the end, I think of it as more of a beginning, but I am so busy I don’t know if that is even a good term for it.
I have to say a few more personal things or Rachel would not be happy with me. I apologize if I didn’t cover the things people who are reading this really wanted to know so here goes. My favorite colors are blue and greens ( depending on the day or time of year or what ever shirts are clean at the time). I love all animals and own the most wonderful white shepherd/lab mix. Her name is GRITS and she is small for her breed, but very smart. My godson’s name is Nathanial Diego Sidoneo DeSosa. My birth date is October 6 1974. I have 4 good size tattoos and plan on getting at least one more. I have two younger brothers from my biological dad (and his 5 marriages) and on older step sister who is anything but wicked. She is married to a pilot and they travel between Florida, Hawaii and Japan. I have the most incredible family including 3 aunts who have lives almost as interesting as mine. One of my uncles is the vice president of accounting for Hooters (yes the “family” restaurant). Rachel has yet to actually go there with me, but one day… My Mom’s name is Beckie Selph and she is the best! She is a social worker at the other high school in the county where we work. She is married to Ron Selph who owns and operates the Chic-fil-A in the local mall (restaurants run in the family apparently). I have 4 grandparents (including my step-father’s parents) who are the greatest people in the world. I had 6 but the other two are together in heaven waiting on me. I love books, swords, talking, playing games (computer, table top, or almost anything) and traveling (still). I have an over active imagination and a love for anything theatrical. I am probably one of the few people in the world who can say that I enjoy ALL types of music. There is some thrash/grunge metal that gives my migraines, but I endure those as well. I have learned to do a lot of things for myself from building to auto repair, but I know enough to go to the experts. I am a people person who can tell a story and loves to listen as well. I enjoy cooking (and eating) and am a fairly proficient horseback rider. I am sure there are things I am missing, but that just leaves room for questions. Besides, this is the short version, remember?
